== The Wonderful Tea Journey == -- You're ready to start your epic adventure. But first, how about a lovely cup of tea? -- ** Matthew Scroggs & Gin Grasso ** @@ 0 @@ vv 1 vv # start You wake up. You feel very groggy. You really need a cup of lovely warm tea. Then you'll be ready to begin your epic quest. What do you want to do? Look in the wardrobe => wardrobe ?! hat Examine your desk => desk Look in the bin => bin ?! bin Leave your room => stairs # bin There's nothing in the bin. No point looking here again. + bin Continue => start # wardrobe You find a hat and take it with you. + hat Continue => start # desk There is a mug of tea on your desk. There is also a pencil on your desk. ?! pencil Drink the tea => cold_tea Pick up the pencil => desk + pencil ?! pencil Step away from the desk => start # cold_tea The tea is cold. It's disgusting. You can't take it any more. Continue => __GAMEOVER__ # stairs You are faced with a terrifyingly long flight of stairs. You're not sure you can make it down without tea first. You also see the door to the bathroom. Cover your eyes with your hat and go down the stairs => hall ? hat ? teabag Cover your eyes with your hat and go down the stairs => get_teabag ? hat ?! teabag Walk down the stairs => fall_stairs Head to the bathroom => bathroom Go back to your room => start # fall_stairs You trip and fall down the stairs. Luckily you're not hurt any more than you are already hurting for tea. As you lie on the floor, you notice a pencil sharpner stuck under the bureau. You use it to sharpen your pencil. ?! sharpener + sharpener ? pencil You get up. Continue => hall # get_teabag You find a tea bag in your hat. The sweet smelling tea gives you the strength you need to get down the stairs. ? hat + teabag Continue => hall # hall You are standing in the hall. Go to the kitchen => kitchen Go to the living room => livingroom Go back up the stairs => stairs # kitchen You walk into the kitchen. There is a kettle. Turn on the kettle => kettle ?! realtea Turn on the kettle => realkettle ? realtea Go to the hall => hall Examine the fridge => fridge Go through the portal in the floor => portalstairs_in ? mug_portal # realkettle The kettle slowly boils. You feel that the end may be near. ?! mug_milk This is finally it. It smells of beauty itself. ? mug_milk Put the tea bag in the mug => realkettle + mug_teabag ?! mug_teabag Pour the water into the mug => realkettle + mug_water ?! mug_water ? mug_teabag Pour the milk into the cup => realkettle + mug_milk ?! mug_milk ? mug_teabag Drink the tea => win ? yorkshire Drink the tea => lose ?! yorkshire # win You drink the tea. It is everything you ever hoped for. You feel revived. Continue => __WINNER__ # lose You drink the tea. It is disgusting. Why would you choose PG Tips?! It's over, you've had enough. Life isn't worth it anymore. Continue => __GAMEOVER__ # kettle The kettle doesn't turn on. ?! kettleplug ?! kettle_works The kettle explodes in a shower of sparks. How could you forget that your kettle is broken? That's why you left it unplugged. The sparks prove fatal. ? kettleplug Check that the kettle is plugged in => kettle + kettleplug ?! kettleplug ?! kettle_works Continue => __GAMEOVER__ ? kettleplug Plug your kettle lead into the kettle => kettle_on ?! kettleplug ? kettle_lead ~ kettle_lead + kettle_works ?! kettle_works Boil the kettle => kettle_on ? kettle_works Give up => kitchen ?! kettleplug Go through the portal in the floor => portalstairs_in ? mug_portal # in_fridge It's cold and cramped inside the fridge. The door slowly closes behind you. As the fridge light turns off, you notice that the ceiling of the fridge is glowing. There appears to be a portal to another universe in the roof of your fridge. You wonder if there will be any tea in the other universe. Climb through the portal => portal_in Get out of the fridge => kitchen # out_fridge The dark interior of your fridge materialises around you. Climb through the portal => portal_in Get out of the fridge => kitchen # portal_in You enter the portal. Everything goes blurry. Continue => through_portal # portal_out You enter the portal. Everything goes blurry. Continue => out_fridge # through_portal As everything comes back into focus, you find you are in a small orange room. Lying around the room are all the missing plug adapters for your old electrical goods. Pick up a kettle lead => through_portal ?! kettle_lead + kettle_lead Pick up a large AC adapter => through_portal ?! ac_adapt + ac_adapt Go back through the portal => portal_out # fridge You look inside the fridge. There is a bottle of water inside. ?! water There is an opened pint of milk inside. ?! milk Take the milk => fridge ?! milk + milk Take the water => fridge ?! water + water Climb into the fridge => in_fridge Back away from the fridge with caution => kitchen # kettle_on The kettle works. Slowly the water comes to the boil. ?! mug_water ?! mug_teabag ?! mug_milk You put the teabag into the mug. ?! mug_water ? mug_teabag ?! mug_milk You pour the water into the mug. ? mug_water ? mug_teabag ?! mug_milk You pour the water into the mug. You should've put the tea bag in first though. You pour away the water and boil the kettle again. ? mug_water ?! mug_teabag ?! mug_milk Pour the water => kitchen_spill ?! mug ~ peppermint Pour the water into the mug => kettle_on ? mug ?! mug_water + mug_water Put the tea bag into the mug => kettle_on ? mug ? teabag ?! mug_teabag ~ teabag + mug_teabag Put the milk in the tea => drink_peppermint ? mug_water ? mug_teabag ~ milk ?! mug_milk + mug_milk ~ mug_teabag ~ mug_milk ~ mug_water + mug_portal Go back to the kitchen => kitchen # drink_peppermint You pour the milk into the tea. You've done it! You take a sip of tea... It tastes... of peppermint! You've put milk in herbal tea. This will not do. You smash the mug in disgust. The floor cracks around the smashed mug revealing a portal ~ mug ~ mug_teabag ~ mug_milk ~ mug_water Continue => kitchen # kitchen_spill You pour the boiling water all over the floor. You really should've found a mug before trying to make tea... You'll have to stay out of the kitchen for a few minutes until the floor dries. Go back to the hall => hall # livingroom There is a sofa in the living room. There is also a coffee table and a door to the outside world. Sit on the sofa => sofa Go to the coffee table => coffee_table Go through the door => gardendoor Go back to the hall => hall # sofa You sit on the sofa. It is very comfortable, but you still feel nervous... as if something is missing. ?! sofa_lying You lie down. ? sofa_lying You hit your head on something hard and wet... It's a mug that has fallen over and spilt tea over the sofa. ?! mug ? sofa_lying The sofa is still wet. You should probably not lie down on it. ? mug ? sofa_lying Pick up the mug => sofa + mug ? sofa_lying ?! mug Lie down => sofa + sofa_lying ?! sofa_lying Sit up => sofa ~ sofa_lying ? sofa_lying Stand up => livingroom ~ sofa_lying # coffee_table The coffee table is very messy. There are a bunch of receipts and various parking tickets strewn everywhere. ?! table_clear There is a rubber thimble on the table. ?! thimble You battled through the mess of papers and the desk is now organised. ? table_clear ? thimble You found a mysterious note amongst the papers that you don't remember writing. ?! mystery_note ? table_clear ? thimble You get a terribly painful papercut. It gets infected. ? table_clear ?! thimble + infection Tidy the papers => coffee_table ?! table_clear + table_clear ?! infection Pick up the thimble => coffee_table ?! thimble + thimble ?! infection Pick up the note => coffee_table ?! mystery_note + mystery_note ? table_clear ?! infection Step away from the coffee table => livingroom ?! infection Continue => __GAMEOVER__ ? table_clear ?! thimble # gardendoor The door is locked. You can see a key in the garden through the window. ?! key The door is unlocked. There is smashed glass everywhere. ? key Go back to the living room => livingroom Smash the window to get the key => keyroom ?! key + key Go out to the garden => garden ? key # keyroom You smashed the window to collect the key. You unlock the door. Continue => gardendoor # garden The garden is lovely. Go back inside => livingroom # bathroom There is a sink that you can use. Wash your face => bathroom + face_washed ?! face_washed Leave the bathroom => stairs # portalstairs_in You go through the portal, everything goes blurry. Continue => portalstairs # portalstairs_out You go through the portal, everything goes blurry. Continue => kitchen # portalstairs You are at the top of a long, candlelit, stone staircase. Go back through the portal => portalstairs_out Walk down the stairs => trollbridge_in # trollbridge_in You are at one end of a bridge guarded by a troll. On the other end of the bridge is a grand golden doorway. The troll says: "You look horrible, clean yourself up, you cannot pass." ?! face_washed "You look nice. I like your face." ? face_washed ?! realtea "Why have you given me a note from your mother?" ? troll_note ?! troll_crossed The troll takes pity on you and allows you to cross. ? troll_note ?! troll_crossed Give the troll your note => trollbridge_in ? face_washed ? mystery_note ~ mystery_note + troll_note Cross the bridge => ornate_doorway ? troll_note + troll_crossed Go back to the stairs => portalstairs # trollbridge_out You are at one end of a bridge guarded by a troll. On the other end of the bridge is a grand golden doorway. The troll says: "You look nice. I like your face." ? face_washed "You have a receipt. I want it. Please give it to me" ? receipt "You didn't bring me back a present. I don't like you anymore" ? realtea ?! receipt ?! troll_receipt Give the troll your receipt => trollbridge_mug + mug ? receipt ~ receipt + troll_receipt Cross the bridge => troll_kill ?! troll_receipt Cross the bridge => ornate_doorway ? troll_receipt Go back to the stairs => troll_kill ?! troll_receipt Go back to the stairs => portalstairs ? troll_receipt # troll_kill You have angered the troll. He bashes you over the head with a beautiful mug. You die. Continue => __GAMEOVER__ # trollbridge_mug "Thank you for my receipt. Please have my mug in exchange." Continue => trollbridge_out # ornate_doorway The doorway has a keyhole. ?! door_opened It looks surprisingly similar to your garden door. ?! door_opened The door is unlocked. ? door_opened Try the Garden Key => ornate_doorway + door_opened ?! door_opened ? key Open the door => tesco_in ? door_opened Cross the bridge => trollbridge_out # tesco_in You open the door. The light is blindingly bright. You step through. Continue => tea_aisle # tesco_out You step through the doorway into the darkness. Continue => ornate_doorway # tea_aisle As your eyes adjust, you see the telltale red, white and blue of Tesco. You are in the tea aisle. There are only two choices of tea. ?! pg_tips ?! yorkshire Take a box of PG Tips => tea_aisle_milk + milk + pg_tips ?! yorkshire ?! pg_tips Take a box of Yorkshire tea => tea_aisle_milk + milk + yorkshire ?! yorkshire ?! pg_tips Go back through the door => tesco_out Go to the checkout => checkout_choice # tea_aisle_milk Conveniently, there is some milk here as well. You grab it. Continue => tea_aisle # checkout_choice You need to have an item before you can check out. ?! yorkshire ?! pg_tips ?! realtea You have two choices. You can either go to self-checkout or regular checkout. ? yorkshire ?! realtea You have two choices. You can either go to self-checkout or regular checkout. ? pg_tips ?! realtea You already paid. What are you doing? ? realtea Go to the regular checkout => checkout ? pg_tips ?! realtea Go to self-checkout => self_check ? pg_tips ?! realtea Go to the regular checkout => checkout ? yorkshire ?! realtea Go to self-checkout => self_check ? yorkshire ?! realtea Go back to the tea aisle => tea_aisle # self_check You ring up and pay for your tea. Take the receipt => paid + receipt + realtea Leave the stupid receipt. Who needs them? => paid + realtea # paid You walk back to your favourite aisle. Continue => tea_aisle # checkout There is a person at the checkout. You haven't spoken today. The lack of caffeine in your body means that you can't get your words out. Run away => run_away # run_away You try to run away. Again you lack the caffeine. You trip and fall. Continue => __GAMEOVER__ % pencil Blunt Pencil ?! sharpener Sharp Pencil ? sharpener % hat Woollen Hat % teabag Tea Bag % water Bottled Water % milk Half Pint of Milk % kettle_lead Kettle Lead % ac_adapt AC Adapter % mug Mug % mystery_note Mysterious note % thimble Rubber thimble % key Garden key % realtea PG Tips ? pg_tips Yorkshire Tea ? yorkshire % receipt Receipt